I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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