He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
