my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
