Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
