I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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