should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize