Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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