My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
