My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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