i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Randomize
