I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
