I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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