I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
