There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
he wants to bone in the snuggie
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
