i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
