I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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