Plan B is the new Plan A
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
