Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
