Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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