Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
