what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Randomize
