i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
