physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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