Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
