Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
