Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
We are all done wearing pants today
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize