I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
