I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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