I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
