oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
