Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
