i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
