We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize
