Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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