just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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