i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize