i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
