my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
