We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
