Define "chronic" masturbator.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
