I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Randomize
