I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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