Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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