Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
