just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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