'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
