vagina is talking i cant
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
