how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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