What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
