Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
