it wasn't lemon gatorade
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
