i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
