Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
