I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I met the friendliest cop last night
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
