let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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