I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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