but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
