I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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